Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Even my vagina gasped.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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