just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
