12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
