found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
