I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
