yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
