Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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