No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
