forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
