I showed him my bush... on skype.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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