I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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