i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
