We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
