So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
