You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
