i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
