I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
not ubering you a puppy
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
