the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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