Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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