Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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