I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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