btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
