so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
