im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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