Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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