It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
