I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
