I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
