can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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