thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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