it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
