I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
