in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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