carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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