Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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