this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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