you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
