I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i think im in europe. pls send help
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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