the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
