Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
