i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
