So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
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You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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