Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
