her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
