ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
