I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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