i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
