Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
