I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
