I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
