hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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