You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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