You smell like stripper and shame
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
