i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
