are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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