I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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