Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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