this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
