I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
