Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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