I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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