I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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