i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
