i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
