For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
