reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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