k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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